Love Dare

If you are married you realize how hard it is to make the relationship work. To just stay together. Forget making it an amazing marriage right. Wrong!! Every marriage has the opportunity to become great. The thing is though you can not change your spouse, but you can change how you react to your spouse everyday. Maybe if we change ourselves our marriages will change.

I have been married to my husband for 4 years this July. This is not my first marriage but I am determined that it will be my last. I want my marriage to be a passionate, have to have you, best friend, laughing till it hurts type of marriage. To have this, we have to work at it. I know that yelling and nagging at someone to change doesn’t help. That putting them down, not respecting them and making them feel abandoned only makes the marriage worse. So I have decided to do the Love Dare.

The Love Dare is ” a 40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love.” As you take on this challenge it needs to be done in secrecy. Your goal is to complete this book without your spouse knowing that you are doing it.

Finally there is a movie called “Fireproof,” that has a husband in it who is hard and cold. His wife is ready to leave him. He is not really a believer in God but he listens to his father and decides to take the Love Dare. What happens is amazing!!

Let’s have amazing marriages that we can share with our kids. Let’s give them an example that they have to have when they go to get married someday. We can do this!!

Find the Love Dare 40 Day Challenge, under the book study tab at the top of the website. This challenge will change your marriage and yourself in ways that will help your marriage not only survive, but thrive into the type of marriage that you were meant to have.

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The Love Dare – Day 40

* This book study comes from The Love Dare book by Stephen & Alex Kendrick. Their book can be bought on amazon. I am only paraphrasing from their book.

Day 40 – Love is a Covenant

“Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.” Ruth 1:16

Congratulations on making it to the last day of The Love Dare. The journey is not over yet. Just because you are at the end of the book does not mean that you can relax and just let your marriage be. Marriage takes time and commitment. The more effort that you put into your marriage the more rewarding it will be.

I went to to look up the marriage statistics for 2014. I found this: “53% of very happy couples agree with the statement “God is at the center of our marriage.”” I found that a very interesting statement, because the rest of the article goes on to talk about couples that claim they are religious but do not really practice their faith “Are actually 20% more likely than the general population to get divorced – perhaps there is a link between putting on a show in the religious and relational context.”

I thought that it was very eye opening to see how much a difference God can truly make in a marriage. When you put God first in you marriage, you learn to find your happiness in God and not in your spouse. This is a big weight off your spouse’s shoulders, because no other human being can make you truly happy, all the time. They are human and will have times where they let you down.

I also thought that it was interesting, that to have a truly happy marriage, you must practice putting God first in your marriage. I know that my husband and I have gone away from putting God first in our marriage a few times, and it has caused major problems. We become selfish people who seek to be right all the time, instead of putting the greater good of the marriage first. Eventually we finally realize that we have not been putting God first, and that we need to go back to making Him first in our marriage.

I highly recommend finding time everyday to read the Bible. If your spouse doesn’t mind, read the Bible together. Start out with just 15 minutes. Also remember to be praying together. Taking time out of the hectic day to pray together helps to build confidence in each person, that your spouse truly cares for you and wants to let God know that. These two things will make a huge difference in you marriage.

Finally remember your wedding vows, “Till death do us part.” You made a covenant with your spouse, before God to love them forever. Now there are some situations where people should get divorced (abuse, constant adultery), but God HATES divorce. He did not create marriage for it to be taken so lightly. I believe that getting married just to see if it will work out, is setting your marriage up for divorce from the beginning.

Do not stop with The Love Dare. Go get the book, if you haven’t already. There are so many more resources that they offer that I have not given to you within my blogs. I want to pray for you marriage before we wrap this book study up. “Dear Lord, watch over their marriage. Help them to turn to you in times of struggle. Help them to have the strength to keep fighting for their marriage when it seems like it is hopeless. Make them one with each other. Let them know that putting You first in their marriage will change any bad situation into a light that never goes out. May they each have their eyes opened to the wonderful covenant that they made to each other. May their marriage be blessed with your grace and may they live happily ever after. Amen”

Today’s Dare

“Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps, if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.”

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The Love Dare – Day 39

* This book study comes from The Love Dare book by Stephen & Alex Kendrick. Their book can be bought on amazon. I am only paraphrasing from their book.

Day 39 – Love Endures

“Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:8

It is so easy for me to get scared in my current marriage and want to run away. I keep asking God “Why do bad things keep happening in my current marriage?” He answered “Because you keep running away. You need to stand and fight.” So I am.

It is so easy to let your fears, insecurity, jealousy or any other bad feelings get the best of you and make you want to run away from your marriage. The problem with this is that the person that you married is human. They are going to make mistakes. Having these negative feelings constantly robs you of having the great marriage that God wants you to have. You have to look those feelings square in the face (with God’s help) and face them. You and your spouse deserve at least that much.

“But if love is really love, it doesn’t waffle when it’s not received the way you want it to be. If love can be told to quit loving, then it’s not really love. Love that is from God is unending, unstoppable.”

“Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away….. Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You.” Matthew 26:33, 35

I have a hard time with this kind of love. I have been hurt in the past when I have put my heart out there. God has been showing me that I have to push through the current pain to get the reward on the other side. That following God is not an easy path, but a path that is worth following.

“Only a few days ago you were Love Dared to build your marriage on the Word of God. That’s because when all else fails, the truth of God will still be standing. Along the way you have also been dared to be patient, to be unselfish, to sacrifice for your mate’s needs.”

Today’s Dare

“Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.”

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The Love Dare – Day 38

* This book study comes from The Love Dare book by Stephen & Alex Kendrick. Their book can be bought on amazon. I am only paraphrasing from their book.

Day 38 – Love Fulfills Dreams

“Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“What is something that your spouse would really, really love? And how often do you ask yourself that question?”

While I read those questions in the “The Love Dare” book, I was thinking about how much my husband’s happiness means to me. It has been a really hard year for us. I quit my job to homeschool, so now, our income is a lot less and my husband’s dreams have gone right out the window. This has caused me a lot of pain. I love my husband and I do not want to see him unhappy. I have thought numerous times about giving up on God’s plan but every time that I begin to abandon homeschooling, God let’s me know that that is not an option. So, my husband and I have had to do a lot of praying and talking with each other so that our marriage will continue to work.

Everyday I try to think about something that I can do to make my husband’s day better. Some days go better than others. I might send him a text thanking him for all the things that he does. I might greet him with a big hug and kiss. I might plan for us to run together or spend time in some way where it is just us. I might cook his favorite dinner. I might plan a night of intimacy. The list goes on and on. I try to do things for him to make his day just a little bit better because when he is happy, I’m happy.

I know that my husband’s passion is cars. He loves to buy different vehicles, fix them up, drive them for awhile and then sell them. I try to support him in every way that I can in this area of his life. When he asks me if he can buy a certain vehicle, I say “I trust you.” It is important to have trust in a marriage in all aspects. He also likes to go to mud runs, watch all kinds of races and go to just about anything, that has to do with objects that have a motor. When he works on his cars I will go out and see if he needs help. I might ask him how it is going or to explain what he is fixing. I want my husband to know that I treasure what he loves because I love him.

When is the last time that you asked your spouse, How was your day? When is the last time that you took interest in what is going on at their work? How about asking them about what they need, want or desire?

Today’s Dare

“Ask yourself what your mate would want if it were obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.”

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The Love Dare – Day 37

* This book study comes from The Love Dare book by Stephen & Alex Kendrick. Their book can be bought on amazon. I am only paraphrasing from their book.

Day 37 – Love Agrees in Prayer

“If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by my Father.” Matthew 18:19

“If someone told you that by changing one thing about your marriage, you could guarantee with near 100 percent assurance that your life together would significantly improve, you would at least want to know what it was. And for many godly couples, that “one thing” is the daily practice of praying together.”

It has taken me awhile to build a close relationship with God. I use to think that I should only pray when I had something important to ask God, when I wanted to thank Him or when things were really going wrong. I didn’t realize that God wants me to talk to Him about anything and everything. “Ask and God will give to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will open for you. Yes everyone who asks will receive. Everyone who searches will find. And everyone who knocks will have the door opened.” Matthew 7:7-8. This verse has helped me to realize the importance of prayer in all aspects of my life. As a family we try to pray together everyday at dinner and before bed time. My husband and I pray when we are not sure which path to take in life.

I know as a couple that my husband and I should be praying together more though. Where there is more than one person praying for the same thing together, God will help to grant their prayer. Praying with someone else is very important to having your prayers answered. It also helps with making sure that your marriage is on the same page. When you hold hands as a couple and pray together something wonderful happens. You become closer to each other. Especially when you put God first in your marriage.

Today’s Dare

“Ask your spouse if you can begin to pray together. Talk about the best time to do this, whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.”

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