No More!! I Am Enough!!

enough

I just want to be enough for once. I have been told that I am crazy and unlovable for far too long. I have let man control who I am. I have spent too much time worrying about what others think of me. Well no more!! I confess I am broken. I am a sinner. I am nothing compared to God. By God’s grace, I am good enough.

Knowing That You Are Needy

The little girl who falls and scrapes their knee, needing someone to clean the wound, bandage it and hold her till it heals. That is me. I want to be tough and all put together, but I am not. I am so needy. Needy of a savior that strengthens me.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be needy. Growing up, I was told to be tough. Do NOT cry. You are tough. But, I’m not!!! I need Jesus. I need to fall apart and have someone catch me. And no one, no human can consistently be there to catch me. Only God can hold me, restore me, make me whole again. Enough, to stand again and feel joy. Enough to rise above it all, into a cloud of peace. To feel the sun, smell the roses and stop to love again. Only God makes me enough.

Stop trying to be enough. It will never happen. Only Jesus can do that. Jesus already died for you. He already paid the ultimate sacrifice. He died to save us from our sins. When he died, he tore the veil in the temple, allowing normal people to finally be able to approach God and talk to him. He gave us a way to make it to Heaven, that did not include a whole list of good deeds that had to be done first. By God’s grace alone, you are saved. Grace means to love those that do not deserve it. That is me in a nutshell. Everyday I sin. Everyday I make a mistake. But, everyday God still loves me. God still holds me close and calls me his daughter. Amen!! (more…)

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Letting Go and Letting God Be The Parent

Letting Go and Letting Go Be The Parent

One of the hardest things to do in life is to be a parent. I have read plenty of books on the idea of parenting. But, nothing can prepare you for when a child struggles with something that you can not help them with.

Teenage Years

This past week I have watched my teenage daughter struggle in ways that has brought me to tears. Between boyfriend issues, a lot of tests at school and other obstacles, she has been a mess. I have tried to talk to her, hold her, just let her know that I am there for her. I have talked with grandparents, aunts and uncles about just showering her with love and attention. I don’t want her to feel alone, nothing has seemed to help.

So what do you do when you are out of your element, ask for help. I do not feel that I am capable of helping her with some of the emotional issues that are arising. She says that her emotions get so BIG that thoughts of suicide have crossed her mind. That feelings of just ending it all to make the pain go away, keep coming. This is no joke. I have gone from scared to sad to angry in the past few days. Now I am just exhausted.

Dealing With More Than You Can Handle

This past Monday I took her to a medical center for a mental evaluation. We were there for a little over 7 hours. They did a lot of medical examinations, including, chest x-rays, EKG, blood tests, and more. They didn’t find anything wrong, so they sent her to the psychologist, for a mental evaluation. She looked so upset and embarrassed. She kept saying that everyone was going to think that she was crazy now. I just kept explaining that we all need help sometimes and that getting help is better than bottling it all up inside and pretending that you are okay when your not.

The look on her face was heart breaking. I wanted to just grab her arm and run out the door with her. To take her somewhere where she could feel safe and loved again. Some place where I felt like I had more control in her life again. But, what would that solve. NOTHING!!! So I made myself calm down, put on a smile and started talking about anything in life that might make her smile.

After about an hour in the mental evaluation room, the psychologist came out to talk to me. She asked me if I had any concerns and I told her about how she said that her emotions would get so big that she thought about suicide. That it scared her. I told her about what was going on in her life that was causing stress. I then asked her straight up, if there were any red flags that she noticed. You see, my daughter is the child that gets good grades, helps others, is loved by her teachers, is honest, and wants to do well in life. I hadn’t seen her grades drop, her friends hadn’t changed, and nothing else in her life warranted a red flag to pop up. I was confused as to how to help her or what was going on.

The psychologist proceeded to tell me that she didn’t see any red flags either. That sometimes between hormones and other stressors, that their emotions just change. That’s great, but it still didn’t help me figure out what to do to help her. So I told the psychologist that what was going on with my daughter was out of my element and that I didn’t know how to help her anymore. She said, all that I could to was be there for her. To really listen to her. And to seek the help of a counselor.

So that is what we are doing. The hard part is that I think she forgot the most important part of all, the powerful element of GOD!!

God’s Role in All of This!!

God already knows what is going to happen way before we do. We can choose to obey and follow His plan, or we can try to make a path of our own. The second idea usually ends up with something bad happening, trust me I know.

So as I left the medical center this week and headed home, I just kept praying. Praying to God that He would have to be in charge of this situation. That He is the best parent for what is going on and that I would follow His lead.

I don’t want to go through this alone. I don’t want to fell helpless and afraid as her parent. And with God I do not have to.

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.” (Psalm 27:13-14)

“Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.” (Psalm 37:5)

“”For I am the LORD your God, who upholds your right hand, Who says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.'” (Isaiah 41:13)

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving

let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)

In the midst of a parenting storm, rely on Him. Know that our God is stronger than we will ever be. That He cares for us and loves our children more than we can ever imagine. That in Him we find peace and strength to keep moving on, trying to be the best parents that we can be.

If you are struggling with how to help your child, STOP right now and pray to God. Tell Him that you can no longer do this alone. That you need Him to step in and take control. That you are waiting on Him. That you trust Him and will follow Him in this situation.

Then, just sit back, be still and know that our God WILL provide a solution, if we just wait, listen and obey. Even though this is one of the hardest things to do in life, it is essential to our sanity, to our children turning out to be a Godly person, to our whole relationship with our kids.

Please comment below, how God has helped you as a parent. Or, how we may pray for you in your struggles as a parent.

May peace and strength be with you today and the days to come. God bless.

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How to View Peace Within God’s Presence

peace

Last time I posted a blog we talked about How The World Views Peace!! Today we are going to take a look at what peace looks like within the presence of God. Peace is not the absence of conflict, it’s the calm within the storm. It’s having faith in the One True God and knowing that He knows better than we all do. 

The Shoes on Your Feet

I started a new job, as a waitress about three weeks ago. I had to have black shoes for work. I must have tried on about 25 different pairs of shoes before I found the shoes that I liked. It didn’t matter what they looked like, only what they felt like. I knew that if I didn’t find a good pair of shoes for my feet that I would be in a lot of trouble. My feet are what gets me around at work. If they are in pain then working becomes unbearable.

The same thing goes for our relationship with God:

“For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so

that you will be fully prepared.” (Ephesians 6:15)

     How many days, do we wake up and not put on the correct pair of shoes? Yet, we expect that we will be able to have peace through out the day. It’s like, trying to wear a pair of flip-flops when hiking through mountainous terrain. It’s not comfortable. It makes your hike harder and more painful. But, we keep doing the same thing expecting the same result. Insanity to say the least.

     So how do we change the amount of peace that we have in our lives? From the “Good News” of God. Taking time to read the Bible everyday is not a want, it’s a need. Learning to make it a priority will change your life. Now, it will not change all at once. It takes time to create a new habit of peace.

     A life without peace, is simply put, a life without God. It hinders us from maturing the way that God wants us to live.

     I tried forever to have peace on my own. It never worked. The harder I tried to have peace, without making God’s Word my main focus, the worse things got. My anxiety went through the roof. I wanted so badly to just have a peaceful existence. I kept thinking, well once this storm passes then I will have peace. Once, my child grows out of this stage, I will have peace. Once, I go on vacation from my stressful job, I will have peace. The thing was, that even when my circumstances changed, the amount of peace that I felt in my life didn’t change.

So how do I go about getting the right pair of shoes on my feet?

Jesus’ Peace 

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” (John 14:27)

     When Jesus died for us, He left His peace for us at his feet. The very place on our bodies, that we need to cover and protect. The correct shoes that we require each day to feel peace, starts with Jesus.

     There have been so many times that I have stopped whatever I am doing and asked Jesus to give me His peace. Not the peace of the world as we know it, but, the true calmness of His peace.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and

the door will be opened to you.” (Mattew 7:7)

     When all we have to do is just ask, you better believe that I am going to take advantage of that. It’s as simple as praying to God and saying, “Lord, I need Jesus’ peace today. Not the peace of the world, but the peace from your son, who died for my sins. Let His peace wrap its’ arms around me and hold me today.”

     Within five minutes, I feel a warmth just wash over me, and peace be still my heart. The peace of Jesus takes your life and slows it down. It helps you to realize that God’s peace far supersedes any understanding of what peace means here on earth.

Wearing The Right Pair of Shoes

     We know that we need to ask Jesus for His peace in times of trouble, or even before trouble begins. Learning to pray and ask God on a regular basis for Jesus’ peace allows the Holy Spirit within you to grow and create a more peaceful inner self.

     We also need to be in the Good News of God everyday. The Bible contains wisdom in our world that is unmatched by anything else, yet it seems to be put on the back burner for when we are in trouble, or actually have time to read it.

     What if we changed our pattern of life and made reading the Bible a priority?

     Right now I want you to make a plan for when you are going to read the Bible everyday. Even if it is only for 10 minutes, get into a habit of being in God’s Word everyday.

If you are not sure where to start take a look at this app:

bible I love this app. It has a lot of different daily reading plans that you can choose from.

You can also order a FREE daily devotional called Our Daily Bread. These books have short stories along with a Bible reading for the day. It usually takes me about 15 minutes a day to get through each reading.

daily bread

If you have been reading the Bible almost everyday, but you feel like you are doing out of guilt, then try taking notes as you read. I purchased a journal last year and now as I read the Bible I write down verses that I really like. I also write down any questions that I have and then I look up that verse on biblehub.com for the answers. Next I write down the answer in my journal, right next to where the question was. This has allowed me to have a better understanding of what I am reading and enjoy reading the Bible more.

Whatever you have to do to be in God’s Word everyday, please do it. It is more important than you can possibly know.

Please comment below on what your plan is for reading the Bible everyday.

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Overcoming Our Demons

Over Coming Our Demons

Life has had times where I felt lost, depressed and didn’t know what to do. Times where my inner demons have screamed so loudly in my ear, that the thought of running away from the situation was the only thing that I wanted to do. Trying to overcome those demons on my own never seemed to work. My will power would start strong then take a nose dive, as my flesh grew weaker by the minute. But, finding a source of power that gave me strength, when I felt weak, was all I needed to start overcoming those demons. (more…)

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A Miracle Inside Two Tragedies

one miracle in the middle of 2 tragedies

 

The past few weeks have been a hard time for my family. My husband’s great uncle, who is an amazingly loving man, was in the hospital for a little over a week. We were able to visit him twice while he was there. For my younger kids, it was a little harder seeing their great, great, Uncle Allen lying in a hospital bed with tubes and wires coming out of him. Uncle Allen was responsive for the most part, but it was still hard to see his immediate family sad because they knew that he was going home to Heaven.

Well, Uncle Allen did go home to be with God the three days later, around 10 in the morning, on a Saturday. Then came another tragedy. Sitting at a soccer tournament the next day, Sunday, with my 15 year old daughter, watching her boyfriend play soccer, I received a phone call. It was a cousin wanting to know if I had heard the bad news. I thought she was talking about Uncle Allen, but that wasn’t the case at all. She proceeded to inform me that Raymond, my best friend’s father in-law and my husband’s cousin had passed away the night before. I guess half of our town had been looking for him since early Sunday morning, when they found him in a pond. He had driven his UTV in the pond the night before and had drowned. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t even talk. I just sat there in shock. My daughter and I headed home to see what was going on.

We got to Raymond’s house to find most of his family there, including my best friend and her three kids, who are 8 years old and younger. I just wanted to hold those kids tightly and tell them that everything would be okay. I then turned around and hugged my best friend and held her tight for a while. In those moments, it is as if all the words in your brain have disappeared. What do you really say?? Sorry. That doesn’t ever seem sufficient. (more…)

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