The Love Dare – Day 32
* This book study comes from The Love Dare book by Stephen & Alex Kendrick. Their book can be bought on amazon. I am only paraphrasing from their book.
Day 32 – Love Meets Sexual Needs
“The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:3
“It’s true that sex is only one aspect of the marriage. But as time goes by, one of you will likely value its importance more highly than the other. As a result of this, the nature of your oneness as man and wife will feel threatened and endangered.”
After I read this statement I knew that this is exactly where my husband and I are right now. He values sex very highly and my libido seems to have disappeared. When I talk with the doctors they seem to shrug it off and say “Well you have 3 kids and most women your age feel the same way.” That is great, but it doesn’t fix my marriage.
My husband feels loved when we are together physically. I feel loved when he takes time out of his day to spend time with me. We are at opposite ends of the spectrum right now, and it can be very difficult, for either one of us, to feel loved the way we want to be loved.
In my previous marriage there were a lot of issues. I didn’t think sex was one of them, until I found out that my ex-husband had been cheating on me for awhile. The worst part was that I was 6 months pregnant at the time when I found out about the infidelity. I was devastated. How can you do this to someone you claim to love? I have prayed for many years to forgive my ex-husband and for the most part I have, but that past insecurity can creep into my present relationship. I have to constantly fight to get rid of the feelings of insecurity and anger. Especially when my current husband puts being intimate so high on the priority list in our marriage.
I have had to take a look inside myself and what God thinks about marriage to find peace. God wants marriage to be full of romance and intimacy. He created Eve to be “a suitable helper for him.” Genesis 2:18. “The unity of their relationship and physical bodies was so strong, they were said to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).”
It is hard sometimes when I am so tired from cleaning house, taking care of kids, completing homeschooling tasks, running them places, etc. to find the want to be intimate with my husband. I still need to find time for my husband and meet his needs. We were given the tip of scheduling time for sex each week. We are working towards this. I think that is what we will work on tonight.
“If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.”