No Way, I Can’t Do That
Feeling Like You Are Never Good Enough
I am not good enough. Lets just get that on the table. I am not a good speaker. I suffer from anxiety. I can get angry easily and selfish about my time. I want what I want on certain days. Overall, I am an average mom, wife and believer in God. Or am I?
My Personal Trial
For awhile now God has been asking me to start a Community Gathering in my home. Almost like having a small church meeting at your house. I have been so scared, to even think about starting this gathering, that I have been avoiding the idea altogether. God wants me to let people into my messy home, cook them a meal and then help them to grow in their faith. WOW!! I feel like he asked a 5 foot 4, white, skinny girl, to try out for a professional football team. Not to say that that wouldn’t be hilarious to see. But, this is my home. This is where my family and I have time together. He is asking me to give it all to his cause. I am a little overwhelmed and appalled. What if all I want is a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and to sit down and watch my favorite cooking show. Right now, I don’t feel like I will ever be good enough to start this mission.
Jesus as an Example
Jesus Christ was an amazing example of sacrifice. He would preach to people for hours. He would heal a lot of people in one day. He would help anyone whenever they needed it, no matter the cost. He was selfless and something to aspire to. But, how could I ever measure up to that. He was God’s son. He was truly filled with the holy Spirit, from head to toe and all of the cracks in between. On a good day I might feel like my feet are filled with the spirit. Other days, I swear that the Holy Spirit took a vacation. Never the less, I must look at what God is asking me, and realize that I am not doing this alone.
“And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they
have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into
light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things that I do, and
I do not forsake them.” (Isaiah 42:16).
I am blind. I do not see the big picture of what is to come. I know that I should just take the first step forward, but I am afraid that I will never be able to turn back if it gets too hard. What if I stop being afraid and started just having faith? God is the almighty one. He knows who you are and what you are capable of. He knows that with his power, we can do anything. Now if I can just get myself to believe that statement.
“I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)
Oh, if I could just keep repeating this verse all day, maybe, I wouldn’t be such a scaredy cat. Maybe I could stand up on my own two feet and announce that I am starting a Community Gathering? But, today, I feel so weak. Today, I look in the mirror and see a girl who has so many flaws and scars. And again, wonder, why God would want ME, to start something so sacred.
Satan has his ways of holding us down, so that we can never get up and follow God. His lies embed themselves into our soul and hide away until just the right time, when they come to the surface and knock us back down. His deception is far greater than we can understand. Sometimes naively thinking that we can handle all of his negativity on our own. That with our own will power we will fight and win. But why do this when we have the one who is victorious all the time?
“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7).
Satan has done a very good job at reminding me that I am a nobody. He wants me to believe that I will never be good enough for my husband, my kids, my family and everyone else around me. If I were to listen to him whisper in my ear all the time, I would probably hide under my bed covers and stay there all day. But, lately, I tell him to shut up. I have started saying scripture and reminding myself that God made me who I am for a reason. That no one could be a better me, than ME!!
For me to be able to take the first step in following God and obeying what he is asking me to do, I have to squash all the what ifs in my head. For, most of them come from Satan, implanting doubts and the thoughts of inability within myself.
“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God I will praise His word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear.” (Psalm 56:3).
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him
who loved us. (Romans 8:37)
To conquer means to, gain control of, through great effort. With God you can do all of this and more. You can gain control and then have joy through all of it. With God, the conquering part is just the beginning. It’s what comes after that, that is the spectacular show of his power. The fireworks, that start slow and kind of quiet. Their brilliant colors and lingering traces. How the sky lights up in the most delightful way. The fluttering and rapid movements that each kind of firework brings. To the building up of the most amazing grand finale that has so many colors and loud bursts of joy that you can hardly contain yourself. And when the fireworks are over, people cheer. The display of glory that they showcased, left you breathless and smiling from ear to ear. The effect it leaves on your brain is compelling. What if our life is suppose to be like this? What if God is waiting, patiently, watching our every move, until we finally take the first step forward, in obeying and following him? To start the first fireworks in our life. To end with such a loud array of colors and sounds that everyone around us knows that God was with us. That God was in us.
No More Waiting
What are we waiting for? I know for myself. I am not waiting anymore. Starting August 17, I will be having the first Community Gathering in my home. Please pray for me and my family as we venture out onto God’s path. For we know that God knows better than we do.
Please join me in taking the first step towards a life that is lined with God’s plan. A life that is unexpected and challenging, yet more rewarding than we could ever imagine.
If God has been asking you to do something and you have not taken the first step. Please write in the comment section below, detailing your struggle with what is holding you back. If you have decided to take the first step today, please tell me about that too. Let’s encourage one another to rise up and take that first step in following God. NO more thinking that we are not good enough.
“If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31)