Let it Go – Give it to God
Dear Fellow Strugglers,
My husband and I have disagreed over the same issue for about 4 years. It is hard, because it is an issue that brings up a lot of hurt from my past. The problem is that he just sees the issue one way, and I see it another way. For four years we have fought, yelled, cried, and even nagged each other about it. I have had enough. I do not want to be in a situation that causes me so much pain. I want to run away. Divorce has even crossed my mind, but is not an option.
This past weekend I found myself in tears around 1 o’clock in the morning. I was so hurt with this issue that we were fighting about, again, that I couldn’t sleep. I got up and decided to clean the house. I find that if I do something, besides feel sorry for myself or worry, that I can calm down much quicker. So, I went about emptying the dishwasher and picking up the toys in the living room. I finally became tired, so I laid back down. I started to pray, ” please God help me be the wife that you want me to be. I want to run away. I want to make the hurt stop. I do not want to face this issue anymore.” Then I fell asleep.
The next day I woke up and felt like I was hit by a truck. I was so tired, my head hurt, and my body just want to go back to sleep, (not an option when you have kids). So I got up and made myself some tea. Then my husband got up. I did not want to talk with him. How could someone who claimed that they loved me so much, also hurt me so much? I was angry. There was no way that I was going to talk to him. I just got my breakfast and sat down on the couch. I turned on the t.v. and ignored him.
Later that day I had to go to town, (we live in the middle of no where). So as I was driving to town, I prayed again, “Dear Lord, please help us figure out this issue. Help me to be the kind of wife that you would want me to be.” I ran some errands in town, then started the trek back home. I didn’t want to go back home. I was still mad. So on the drive home I prayed again, “Please Lord you have to help me. I do not want to hurt anymore. I want to be a better wife. Help me to be the kind of wife that you want me to be.” You see, I have never been around a marriage that has lasted. I have never been part of a relationship where people talked about things and fixed them together. All I had ever seen or been part of were destructive relationships that split up in the end. I did not want to be that kind of wife anymore that yelled, or cried, or even wanted to run away.
Finding My Answer
As I was driving home, God spoke to me. He told me to just give the issue to Him. I need to love my husband and forgive him. To stop worrying. That He would take care of the issue. I’m sure that means in His own time. He also told me to not ask my husband about this issue anymore. That was it. So I did.
I still pray all the time for God to help us with this issue. My husband and I have made sure that we pray about this issue every night together. We pray that God will keep our marriage strong no matter what comes our way. That he will help each of us figure out our problems with the issue that we have. Praying together has helped us with letting go of our own stubbornness and give it to God.
I hope that as you read this, that you may see how amazing God is with His ability to heal. To help us fix things that we can not fix on our own. I pray that if you are struggling with something in your life and it seems like no matter what you do, the issue just does not get any better, that you let go and give it to God.
May God bless you and give you peace,