When you Don’t get What you Want
How easy it is to look at others around you and want what they have. This mom’s children are so well behaved. They love the Lord way more than mine do. They do their school work without a fuss. Why can’t my children act this way?
Look at this woman’s husband. He is a deacon at our church. He is always helping others. He seems to adore his wife and kids. He is such a good dad. Why can’t my husband be this way?
This mom seems to have it all together. She is always fashionably dressed, in a good mood, with a smile on her face. Her house is impeccably clean. Her homeschooling room is amazing and so well organized.
AWWWWWWW!!! I want what they have.
All too often these thoughts cross our mind at one time or another. Wanting what someone else has.
Where These Wants Come From
What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires
at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill
to get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have
what you want because you don’t ask God for it. And even when you ask, you don’t
get it because your motives are all wrong – you want only what will give you pleasure. ~ James 4:1-3
Quarreling means waging a constant war within yourself or with others, that is prolonged. A war that runs your emotional, spiritual and physical state of being into the ground. While fighting is the particular battles that you cause. Battles that are raged not in God’s name or for His purpose. Battles that are fought with the idea of us getting what we want.
We cause these battles because of our evil desires. Where do these evil desires come from? From our flesh. When the body wants what it wants and wants it NOW!!
We so often think that we are in control of our own body. That we can willfully stop these desires from happening. But that is not true.
Paul, who was a great follower of Jesus Christ and a very godly man, writes:
So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is
with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I dont’ really understand myself,
for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ~ Romans 7:14-15
I feel this way all the time. I don’t want to yell at my kids or my husband, yet I still do. I try so hard to stop myself from being this way, but I can’t. I find out that after I throw my temper tantrum, I tremendously dislike myself. It wasn’t until I realized that my flesh was too weak and that I couldn’t fix my problem on my own. That it had to come from God. I started praying constantly, fervently to God to help me with my yelling. It took time and effort to pray and continue to pray, but it was so worth it. My yelling slowly started to recede, till I found that it had almost disappeared. I say almost, because I still have days where I lose my cool. These days are far and few between, compared to what they used to be. Most of my relationships are stronger and calmer due to me letting the Holy Spirit take over.
Are Your Motives in the Right Area?
In the morning when I wake up, I spend time praying to God. I usually thank Him for another day, to watch over my marriage, to help me be a better mom and wife, and to give me His wisdom as I read the Bible. How often do we ask God what he wants from us that day? For His will to be done in our lives.
I stink in this department. I am so busy checking off my own checklist that what God wants from me that day is last on my list. Usually, I do not even get through my own list, to start thinking about what God might have wanted me to do that day.
Same as praying to God asking Him to change a child, spouse, friend or any other person that is causing us grief. We want them to change so that the situation is easier. Have we ever thought that God is trying to shape us, mold us, or change us in the situation that we are in? That we are the one with the problem, the one that needs to change. And, if we change and the situation doesn’t become better that we are still obeying God.
And we know that everything works together for the good of those who
love God and are called according to His purpose for them. For God knew His people
in advance, and he chose them to become like His Son, so that His Son would be supreme among
many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, He called them to come to Him. And having
called them, He gave them right standing with Himself. And having given them right standing, He
gave them His glory. ~ Romans 8:28-30
Even when we can not see the whole picture before us, we still have to fight the good fight, trust in God and obey. For when we do, we realize in the end that the outcome was better than we had ever anticipated. God’s plan for us may not have been what we wanted, but it sure was what we needed.
So start relying on God. Start praying more for His will to be done in your life. Stop trying to fix and control the situations in your life where you have no control. And start living out God’s plan.
May God bless you and keep you,